Some jokes to share with you
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?
One nite a man was relaxin watchin tv when out of the kitchen comes his wife with a pan –BOOF!!!–”a who name shiela? Mi jus see one paper inna u pocket wid di name shiela pon it, who she? The man rubbin his headback said “me and Richie did dung a di track today and dat is di name of the horse weh we bet pan, a wah do yuh?!!” So the wife apologized, kissed his headback and went back to her chores. 15 mins later the wife storms out the kitchen again –BOOF!! BAM!!– “a wah do yuh??” Shouted the husband, the wife shouts back “yuh horse deh pon di fone!!!”
A Policeman was directing traffic, a madman ask him “wat time u ave?” The police run him. The madman keep comin back so the Police get fedup and say “a 2:30″. The madman say “wen a 3 O’clock cum suck out mi Batty”,the Police get vex and start run him down, the madman lost him round a corner. The police saw Mr Chin and ask if him see a madman. Mr chin ask “wa u a run him down for?”. The police say “him tell me fi cum suck out him batty at 3pm”.
A Yardman is in bed with his wife. Her phone rings at 3am, Yardman ans it & then angrily replies “y di rass u don’t f@*k off & ring d weather office, u damn ass, wife asks “who dat so early in di mornin?” He says “sum ediat a ask if di coast clear.”
One day Old Road in Antigua was flooded out due to heavy rainfall. People from there had to leave work early to go home. A young man eagerly rushed home to be with his beautiful wife. As he pulled up on his driveway, he braved the thunderous rain and darted into his house.To his dismay, his wife’s ‘horner-man’ ran outside to get away. The husband walked up to his wife and ‘buss two slap in she ass .’Crying enough to fill a bucket she said, ‘What yah slap meh fa?’She continued…’Dat is de man who buy dem shoes on yah foot.”Dat is de man who doz help me pay de bills.”Dat is de man who pay down on de car you drivin.’Totally enraged the husband replied,’Dat is exactly why ah frigging slap you… you have de man running out in de rain?”Suppose he catch cold an dead, a wha ar we go do den?’ ‘You stupid or what?”Call him back!!!’